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Here is NEWS that was mailed to my readers on Sep 25, 1999:-

Sep 25, 1999

Cherished Citizens of Cyberspace,

A dip in the mailbag this week brought out some interesting pieces.... one
Concerned Citizen wanted to know if I was an escapee from a
MENTAL INSTITUTION.... fancy that !... it's a pity she doan got no sense of
humor... anyway, here is the latest ramblings from your Favorite Madman.


Winston Hall has just escaped again... and this is the third time he is on
the run. Why he has spent more time "on the run" than in the prison !
Last time they caught him, they put him in a maximum security cell... which
had "the latest" in electronic surveillance... the man couldnt even take
a pee without perverted persons enjoying the view.

George Clarke, Superintendant of Prisons, boasted that he would NEVER escape

And the manner in which he escaped is suitable stuff for bedtime stories
... he jumped over the GALLOWS, like the cow jumped over the moon... and he
did not stop there.. he kept on jumping... right over a 30 foot wall that
had razor ribbon and barbed wire along the top.

The POLICE and the DEFENCE FORCE... spent the rest of the day searching the
bushes and gullies and stoppin and searching all vehicles in the Belle area.

Now today they got the Navy warships trying to stop him leaving the

Prime Minister, Owen Arthur, from his hotel room in the Cayman Islands where
he went for a Commonwealth Finance Ministers meeting.... said "I cant
believe that Winston Hall is not in Glendairy" and ".... this has gone
past the point of being ridiculous.... no bland excuses will be acceptable."

Today I have a Martial Arts function to attend.... maybe tomorrow... I type
up all the details for you.

All manner of dead fish washing up at Bottom Bay and Shark Hole and other
St. Philip beaches.... major pollution catastrophe... the nature of which is
yet to be determined.

And now, about 100 dead birds discovered in the Ministry of Health
headquarters and St. Patricks Roman Catholic cathedral and carpark.

I will try to keep you informed with followup.

Most BAJANS remember that
during election campaigning a paid advertisement, put out by the BLP,
featured the voice of DAVID THOMPSON repeating the words "crime and
violence".. like a stuck record.. to every question he was being asked.
Now the DLP is having a "candlelight" procession, which the public is
invited to join, as part of their "anti-crime" campaign.
.. but, as far as I am concerned, they are all barking up the
wrong tree.... hang 'em or shoot 'em... and do it quick... before they get
up to more mischief. The DLP may yet have the last laugh on this issue,
unless the government starts to tackle the lawless element in the country.
According to Lucille Baird, Rehab Officer at Her Majesty's Prison, there are
51 teenagers up there and 10 of them are between 14 and 16 years old !
What message is being sent to these youth ????
Apparently these are such "badboys" that they are too bad for Dodds (the
place for juveniles). Being a "badboy" is lots of fun in this society,
because everybody is afraid of you, and nobody has the will to deal with
you... so you can expect more younsters choosing this career.

Armed Guard or gimmick ?
In letters to the Editor, the public is not too pleased with "trigger happy"
armed guards in Supermarkets, but Mr. Edwards, managing director of BIG B,
says they are NOT "trigger happy".... and when I visited Big B looking for
the "armed guard".... I could not find him... there was no evidence of
arms or guards... but a plain clothes guy, who does their security, chuckled
when I asked him about it and said that people where looking for the "armed
guard" all day long... so I think the whole thing is just a gimmick... to
increase Big B sales... sort of like when Santa Claus comes to town.

I gone

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