Here is NEWS that was mailed to my readers on Aug 7, 1999:-
Aug 7, 1999 Precious People of the World ! Here is the latest News and Gossip Party photos and Crop Over Photos will be going up soon. so keep checking. NEW AIRPLANE ------------ The Americans have given us an airplane to help the Regional Security System fight the scourge of drugs... and the leaders have agreed to make the region totally drug free. The plane was handed over amid the usual fanfare that attends such events... it is a Fairchild C-26 Aircraft.. worth U.S.$3 million. SOCIAL MENACE ------------- The house of an incapacitated, elderly woman is now a leading drug den... her daughter and daughter's man... are in the drug business, bigtime.. and the attention of residents (who usually turn a "blind" eye) was aroused when an 11 year old boy bought his daily dose of drugs there recently. Apparently, this particular "drug man" likes to "chop up" customers who are not loyal... so a certain customer got "chopped" in the face with a sword. The lady next door has had enough of this foolishness... she wants the drugstore closed... so she called the peepuls paper to see what they cud do for her. WUKKING UP ---------- Can you "wuk up" ?... most tourists cannot !... according to Emmanuel Joseph writing in the peepuls rag, the WEAKEND INVESTIGATOR (absolutely the BEST rag on the planet, get your copy EVERY Friday)... NOBODY can wuk up like a Bajan ! wukking up is a Bajan thing... as natural as dialect. It is only WHITE people who think that it is vulgar,crude, offensive and undesirable... so if you are black and you thinking that way... then know that you have been indoctrinated by the white people and need to rid yourself of that brainwashing and return to your "roots". Why even the littlest of our Bajan children can wine and gyrate... showing off the natural rythm and flexibility in their waistline... you should be ashamed of yourself... you NEED a "roots" experience ! The Bajan wukup is a true 360 degree waistline movement... foreigners can do "jucky, jucky"... but it is painful experience watching a white person trying real hard to wuk up, and anyone can tell that they really want to wuk up like the natives, but they just cant seem to get it do. If you see them, they have a way of dancing on their toes, with a little jump up and down, while they stiff looking waists, more often than not move out of time, from side to side. In other words, most white people, particularly non-Caribbean whites, have no rythm. But if wukking up was a white thing, there wouldn't be such a lamentation against it. Several previous officials of the National Cultural Foundation tried to curb and outlaw wukking up.. during the administration of Dr. Elliott Parris "wuk up police" were introduced to stop excessive wukking up at festivals.. they didn't last as long as a snow cone in the dessert. Soca queen Alison Hinds, sang to a delighted crowd, "I am not afraid, I am not afraid, I am not afraid of de wuk up police". Mac Fingall said, "do they wine in America ? No, no, no. So you see, it can't be dirty, it can't be vulgar". CRADLE ROBBERS ------------- In the Weakend Investigator (best smut rag on the planet), a former domestic reports that her wealthy mistress is involved in a SEX affair with a schoolboy, and it has been going on for some time. The 15 year old boy, sleeps over and gets ready for school from her place... his mother has no problem with that... since the rich lady sends things for her. Miss malicious, who called the peepuls paper, because she was "concerned".. was quick to tell what she had seen and heard... she saw them kissing when she went upstairs to hang out laundry... she saw them coming out of her room sweating bad with her hair all ruffle up and dressed in a bare towel... she pass by de closed door and hear she moaning, like if she having SEX... She say, If it was a girl child an a man, people would be cruel, but because it is a boy an a woman... dey say, no big deal.... and she thinks it is "wrong"... and she wants "something" done about it ! But a Bajan attorney says that only testimony from the boy would have any credibility in court. So does it seem to you like he is a "victim" wanting to "testify" bout his "abuse" ??? Lookout, you, there are scores of Bajan boys, younger and older, that would do anything to exchange places with him ! The notion that teenage boys and girls are "victims"... being preyed upon by paedophiles, in SOME cases, is sheer bu____t ?... A symbiotic relationship can exist between paedophiles and "their children".... they are actually GOOD for each other ! Boys, in particular, are known to be sexually peaking in their mid-teen years.. so fantasy alone.. or perhaps stories from other boys... can send them scurrying to seek out and pursue "suspected" paedophile with intent. Evidence indicates that this pastime is now fashionable for girls as well.. and we have a growing number of schoolgirls with minivan men and taximen... and very proud of it too !.. ready to cuss anybody.. ready to "defend" their "rights"... and causing a problem for the "authorities", who try to maintain the "system". This is an age of "RIGHTS"... peepul.. everybody got their "rights".... child rights, gay rights.... even "paedophile" got rights ?? By now, many of my long time readers are chuckling to themselves... they know the way I write... highly offensive and inflammatory material... guaranteed to "offend" all "decent", "respectable" people... cause them to write me a "nasty" email.... unsubscribe in a hurry. but BREAK time.. go to the fridge and get a snack ! BARE BLOWS ---------- A Karaoke session came to a halt when a lovers' squabble broke out between two lesbians. One of them was at the back of the bar being courted by one of her ex-boyfriends.. apparently she was trying to go "straight" again, so it was said... her lover who did not realize she was there, was playing pool at the front of the bar when she spotted the couple coming toward her. whereupon, she approached her woman and loudly demanded to know what she was doing in the company of the man, before she could answer, she slapped her in the face. The ex-boyfriend then came between them.. but she cussed him.. got into a fit of temper and started to break glasses in the bar till she was finally subdued. She then burst into tears and said that the woman was constantly horning her with men and she did not know what to do. Wherupon, the two women kissed each other, made up right there and left the bar in each other's embrace. SEWAGE PROBLEM -------------- A certain South Coast Hotel is being accused of pumping sewage into the swamp area just above St. Lawrence Gap, other business people in the area are very concerned about the health hazard this is causing. Management of the hotel has denied the claims as "absolute rubbish" and are counter-claiming that the rumor is being spread by a disgruntled Karaoke operation who they had to complain to the authorities about, because it was disturbing their guests... they see it as an act of retaliation. But the hoses have been spotted early in the morning... and the fact remains the stench coming from the area is unbearable... so SOMEBODY is definitely POLLUTING ! I gone.